Archive | Thoughts on a Plane RSS feed for this section

Thoughts on a Plane: YYZ to YVR

29 Sep

This past year and a half, I’ve done a lot of travelling. And second only to the toilet, an airplane is a great place to have deep and profound thoughts. Ladies and gentleman, may I present, Thoughts on a Plane

YVR

YVR

I should get really good at poker

I should watch Archer.

I should colour my hair. Go lighter. Cuz YOLO. And danger zone.

I should stop eating so many cookies and muffins. Ugh, I’m so fat. It’s gonna be like so hard to lose 5 lbs.

When I get off this plane I’m totes doing some lunges and pushups. Yep. Gonna do me some ‘shups.

You know how when you don’t want to be picked up and then you just make yourself super heavy? How do you do that? How do you make yourself heavy, and then make yourself light again? HOW ARE YOU CHANGING THE WEIGHT OF AN OBJECT WITHOUT CHANGING THE OBJECT ITSELF? OR IS THE OBJECT ACTUALLY CHANGING? OMG I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW…

..You probably just contract your muscles or something. Whatever, I’m over it.

This is the worst coffee I’ve ever had *barfing noise*

*Resumes drinking coffee*

That’s a cool cloud.

OMG I’m having heart palpitations, I need to stop looking out this window.

If I was ejected from the plane, I would use my sweater as a parachute. I could possibly survive. DANGER ZONE!

It is so freaking cold in here! You know what they should invent? A shower that people go into when they’re cold. But instead of it spitting out hot water, it would spit out hot air that would feel like water. But it’s not water, it’s air. Hot air. That would be so good for the environment. Vancouver is so inspiring with all of their environmental friendliness.

I should probably study for my French exam. Merde!

*Nap*

Wait. Isn’t an air shower just a heater? Fuck.

Advertisements

Thoughts on a Plane: YYZ to LAX

14 Sep

This past year and a half, I’ve done a lot of travelling. And second only to the toilet, an airplane is a great place to have deep and profound thoughts. Ladies and gentleman, may I present, Thoughts on a Plane

US-CRIME-SHOOTING-AIRPORT

I can’t believe I’m going to a writer’s conference.

Did I pack enough underwear?

I’m about to watch this film about Coco Chanel in French because I’m so pretentious and want to practice French for when I go to Paris in two weeks. Ugh, I’m so refined.

Never mind, they’re totes speaking English. It’s ok still refined.

Ok some is in French. I think. I don’t really understand what they’re saying. Shit, I don’t speak French.

Ooo radio. I’m gonna listen to some classical. Gosh, what’s wrong with me? Why am I being such a hipster?

Ahhh never mind classical makes me feel like I’m in a horror movie!

Okay, bye, taking a nap.

Fin.